prayer gods plan is flawed

Why Unbelievers Don’t Want Your Prayers

I never, not even in my wildest dreams, thought my faith would ever be shipwrecked. I always believed even after I lost everything and everyone in my life, I would still have my faith. But my love for my daughter proved me wrong.

When she fell sick (seriously) for the third time just before she turned three, we prayed for her, commanded life, anointed her with oil, laid hands and rebuked the sickness, just like we did when she had those two heart operations before that. Yes, she’s had it tough. Very tough. The love I felt for that little body caused my analytical, engineering mind to explore every single avenue I had at my disposal, including asking why the very thing I cherished most in my life (my faith and love for God) wasn’t working when I needed it the most.

You see, for 30 years I had been a devoted God follower. I had a relationship with Jesus that most people could only envy. I often visualized Him wrapping His arms around me and telling me how much He loved me. My knowledge of the Bible ranked up there with the best of them. I was Spirit filled, spoke in tongues, was convinced I had witnessed many miracles and even authored a Christian book. I knew that God didn’t want my little girl to suffer like that, being the loving, caring God that He is.

Saved by the Doctors

But like every time before, nothing worked. None of the spiritual tools we had at our disposal could save her. The best tools that God had endowed His children with, tools that were supposed to help us thrive and live victoriously in this life, appeared to be powerless in spite of the many Bible verses that promised provision, deliverance, protection and healing.

It was then, during this state of heightened anxiety and desperation, that my mind explored the formerly unknown realms of doubt. Previously, because I had been taught that God is always faithful, I never allowed my mind the luxury to explore the path that included any possibility of Him not doing His part. If prayer and speaking life and everything else didn’t work, it was my responsibility as a believer to stir up my faith, try harder, pray more fervently and continue until I got the breakthrough. But not this time… 

You don’t promise me something that can save the life of one of my family members and then decide not to pick up the phone when I call you to make good on your promise. You will not f#@*ck with my family!!

Needless to say, the more questions I allowed myself to ask, the fewer the answers became. As a believer, whenever I came across something I didn’t understand, I would park it in the “God will show me later” box. Now I took out all those questions and laid them before me again, looking at them honestly, fearlessly and rationally. And literally within a few hours the entire house of cards came tumbling down. I don’t know why, but it did. I frantically tried to convince myself that what had just happened wasn’t real, but it was too late. God was dead.

That was 20 months ago. 

Just last weekend, my brave little girl (now four years old), fell sick again. The place where they had to cut her open the last time to remove a fist sized abscess in her abdomen, had caused a piece of scar tissue to form which caused a blockage in her small intestine. They tried everything, but could not get it to unblock. She writhed from pain for three days before the doctor finally gave up and took her to the theater to cut her open again. They removed the rotten blockage which had formed inside the intestine and cut out the growth as well. Doctors and medical technology had saved her little life… again.

And sure enough, lots of people offered their support in the form of prayer again. And because I was a fervent believer for three decades of my life, I totally understand where they are coming from: they are only trying to help as best they can.

But if only they thought about what they are really doing for a minute…

If God is in control and everything that happens is part of His plan, then it means the unbearable suffering she had to endure was also part of His plan, and by praying these folks are essentially telling God that His plan sucks and they are attempting to change His mind about the situation.

prayer gods plan is flawed

If God existed and He were really an all powerful, loving God, couldn’t He have stopped her from getting sick in the first place? Or does He enjoy seeing people (especially little children) become sick so He can listen to the pleas and cries of help from the parents to heal their children? If you were God, would you not do everything in your power to prevent suffering?

prayer - an act of doubt

You can draw this same principle right through to any other situation. Praying is essentially a form of doubt, not of faith. When you are praying and asking God for something, you are essentially telling God that you don’t trust His plan for your specific situation. You are basically attempting to change God’s mind.

god prevent evil

So having said this, we can conclude the following:

1) God is not all powerful (because He looks onto evil and suffering and does nothing) 

2) God is not a loving God (because He would prevent evil and suffering)

3) God doesn’t exist

This is why unbelievers don’t covet the prayers of Christians. Why are you asking the same God who allowed the situation to happen, to now fix it for you? Why ask the same person who passively witnessed a child being raped, to comfort that same child? Why ask the same person who took two little children’s mommy away to look after them and envelop them in His love? Why ask your God to help you with your problem, when all along He had the power to prevent it? 

rapist free will

Does He want people to beg for His help? Does He enjoy being the life saver who pulls someone from a pool after just pushing them in? Does He like listening to all those cries of desperation and pleas of help? Additionally, how can you be 100% sure you are even praying to the correct God? What if the God you were taught to believe in is the wrong one, and every time you pray you are just making the TRUE God more and more angry?

These are just some of the things that goes through the mind of an unbeliever when you offer your help in the form of prayer. Believe it or not, but unbelievers don’t want your prayers.

So instead of praying, simply say “I’m thinking of you” or “I am really sorry”, or even better, actually do something to help. You might get a much better response and your words might just help the unbeliever, not push them further away.


  • Jeffrey Marion

    I, too, never believed that my faith would completely collapse, but it did!
    Now, when I see the vehement hate that Christianity is perpetrating around the world in the name of “righteousness,” I’m glad the collapse happened! I could never be a part of that movement ever again! There’s no going back!

  • Nice article once again my friend.

  • I’m deeply sorry about your daughter. And to help her and your family get better, I also am an Atheist. I encourage you not to continue to believe in this hypocritical god. I’ve even dealt and experienced with him and to be honest he offers and promises fake blessings. I’m a Buddhist and I want to sincerely and genuinely say to you that no one can really save us but US. If it’s your daughter that has to suffer SO much at such an early age is heart-breaking and unfair. That is why I want you to know and insensitively accept that it is from karma from her past life. Right now the only best advice j would recommend for you is to being her to a temple and pray to BUDDHA. Pray for her health and DO actions like eating vegetarian, keep in going to the doctor, keep on being good people, and donate to the poor etc., and pray to BUDDHA I dedicate all these good deeds to my daughter so she can get better. And keep on doing this will wash away and clear away her karma. Only BUDDHA can do this. I hope and wish the best of luck for your daughter and family, Amitabha.

    • Lillian, I appreciate your good intentions, but Buddha will unfortunately not be able to do anything, the same as Jesus.

      We can only love her as best we can and keep a close eye on her medical situation. And be thankful we live in a day an age where we have doctors and medical technology.

      • I’m sorry to offend you and I would like to be able to say that you are incorrect. I understand your part about oh there is no actual god or even Buddha can do anything, but I want you to believe that Buddha CAN do this. It’s not like Jesus where you don’t actually do anything and/or just ‘wash’ away sins, it’s the fact that You’re ACTUALLY doing something in order to allow Buddha to grant you your prayers in return. That’s just how it works in Buddhism. Have you ever heard or seen people with cancers or even serious almost-to-death cancers that have prayed and chanted the mantra Namo Amitabha over and over consistently and have completely been freed from and gotten rid of the cancer? IT HAS happened and not just once in time thing. It has happened for Numerous of times. I want you to be able to understand that Buddha is not just some god who can’t do anything but just says by his mouth like jesus. I want you to experience and live this and to share this with others, so they can get better and end their suffering as well.

      • And I am grateful as well. But no, I don’t agree that even Human doctors can have the power to save and help 100% of the time. You have to rely on higher (spiritual) beings in order to help you overcome what even merely humans can’t. IF we stop here and let it all to the doctors who in no comparison has neither greater power nor knowledge than Buddha, then the daughter would have been saved a long time ago instead of suffering over and over constantly. We certainly have NO time for just doctors. We need prayers which can help. The little needs help and doesn’t deserve further pain; the family is desperate and needs effective help A.S.A.P!

        • Lillian

          If prayers did help, then we would not have needed to take her to the hospital at all.

          Do the doctors know everything? No. But we are fortunate to live in a day and age where the medical science has advanced to a level where they could help her every time.

  • It’s not in his power whether or not he can even allow suffering. Suffering is there because of bad karma and from bad misdeeds and committed sins. Your daughter whose current situation is dealing with extreme bad health at such an early age is due to karma from her past life. The only way to decrease this karma and therefore relieve her pain and sickness is to go to a Buddhist temple and pray to Buddha. You also need to live out your prayers so it can work into effect by: learning about Buddhism and its five precepts and follow it, chant the mantra and sutra, donating to the poor, or wearing vegetarian. Dedicate all these good deeds for her health and Buddha will have the power to grant you blessings in return. Have a ceremony and give her a Buddhist name. Keep consistently doing this for an amount of time and believe! You will then see results of her pain from decreased karma. No one can save us but us the Buddha said! I pray for your daughter and your family. Amitabha.

    • Lillian, Buddah has about as much power to make a difference than Jesus. It’s all in your mind.

      There exists no evidence for “karma” or any “past life” – If you are able to submit evidence of this, please feel free to 🙂

      • Okay then. But I want to ask you: if there’s no such thing as karma and it all happens to ‘be in my head,’ then why are there people suffering its consequences. Tell me and argue on your part if you are able to answer this question really well and suitably unless you can’t find a good reason to why there is suffering. And if you want evidence, look it up on yourself online. I just can’t send you some website good or not convincing enough because you might claim that the websites I give you are just plain bias and wrong. There are Lots and LOTS of even Americans who can remember their past lives, and you can even look up this one American girl who reincarnated early in the same generation as she was living before. She was murdered by her boyfriend at an early age, didn’t have enough time to commit actual sins, so she got reincarnated early into the same lifetime with her same parents. One day she had a connection with her somebody she thought was her mom. She came and to her, and they spoke. The mom had the same sensation and asked her to come to the house where she ‘had lived before’ she died. The mom showed her her room, gave her a picture, and asked her where she was in the picture, her name, and several other questions. The girl answered them all correctly. They had a family mom -and-daughter reunion. This is not just one story, but there are many others out there. And no, there’s possible realistic way they could’ve ‘make things up.’

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