evolution into atheism

An Academic Life Leading to Reason

evolution into atheism

Story Submitted by Lachlan Mckinnie

I was raised as a fairly conservative Christian in semi-rural/country Australia. As a kid, I was always academic, and had a love of history of science. My family, whilst somewhat conservative, were also a little progressive, and reasonably academic themselves (my dad was a medical and scientific technician, and my mum was an administrator who had also done teaching at university).

I had always approached my faith in an academic fashion. I wouldn’t just listen to bible stories, I would read the entire books, learn the context. My church encouraged this, as we had a very open and participatory approach to church. Questions and comments were always encouraged in this environment.

As I grew older, I became more and more interested in science and other aspects of academia, and I became an apologist (and unfortunately even a young Earth creationist). It was probably late high school that things started to change. I started questioning the assumptions I had long held true. In my final year of school, I eventually reasoned that evolution was true, due to all the evidence, and I became a theistic evolutionist (on a side note, some other leaders the youth group of which I was a leader of myself did not take to this too kindly). After this point, I started questioning the faith more and more. I went to university straight after high school. I maintained my stance as a theistic evolutionist for about 2 years there. However, during that time, I questioned more and more. I was getting into advanced theology, and would often argue with myself the arguments used for and against the existence of God. Then one of my good friends (an atheist) got me watching “Why People Laugh at Creationists” by Thunderfoot, as well as other videos. This was probably the thing that tipped me over the edge.

After that point, over the space of about 3 months, I questioned everything in my faith with intense scrutiny. During that time, I found less and less reasons to trust God. I started doing “experiments” with prayer. I reasoned that, if prayer works, then it should have measurable benefits. Therefore deliberately not praying should make some difference (assuming God doesn’t give you the benefits anyways). So I stopped praying, and surprise surprise, there was no difference.

By this time I had left the youth group, and had become a lot more secular. My atheist girlfriend and I had started sleeping together, and there was no wrath of God to be seen. I went through all the arguments for and against God, and the “against God” arguments always won. To tell if I really was an atheist, I started trying to say “there is no God”. At first, I couldn’t. I could barely think it. But I persisted. Eventually, I was able to think it clearly. Then I could murmur it. Then I was able to just whisper it. Finally I was able to say it out loud to myself, and to my friends. That was when I knew I was truly an atheist.

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